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A WOMAN GIVES HERSELF A $5000.00 FACELIFT FOR HER BIRTHDAY AND IS FEELING REALLY GOOD ABOUT THE RESULTS. ON HER WAY HOME, SHE STOPS IN A DRESS SHOP. ON HER WAY OUT, SHE SAYS TO THE CLERK "I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING YOU THIS, BUT HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM?" THE CLERK REPLIES "35". THE WOMAN SAYS "I'M ACTUALLY 47". SHE WALKS OUT FEELING GOOD ABOUT HERSELF. SHE THEN GOES INTO A MCDONALD'S WHERE SHE PROCEDES TO PLACE HER ORDER. BEFORE SHE WALKS AWAY, SHE ASKS THE ORDER-TAKER " HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM?" THE GUY REPLIES "29", SO SHE SAYS "I'M ACTUALLY 47". SHE WALKS OUT FEELING REALLY GOOD ABOUT HERSELF. WHILE SHE IS WAITING AT THE BUS STOP, SHE ASKS AN OLD MAN THE SAME QUESTION. THE OLD MAN SAYS "I'M 85 YRS. OLD AND MY EYESIGHT ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE, BUT WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I HAD A SURE FIRE WAY OF FINDING OUT. BUT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO STICK MY HAND UP YOUR SKIRT". SINCE NO ONE WAS AROUND, SHE THOUGHT WHAT THE HECK AND AGREED. FIVE MINUTES LATER, THE OLD MAN PULLS HIS HAND OUT AND SAYS "YOUR 47". THE LADY SAYS "THAT'S AMAZING, HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" THE OLD MAN SAYS "I WAS IN LINE BEHIND YOU AT MCDONALD'S"